Former President Calvin Coolidge was known as a man of very few words. In his position, naturally he was invited to many parties and dinners. The hostess, of course, would always throw up her hands in despair because Coolidge simply wasn’t a conversationalist. But one hostess thought she had the problem licked when she placed the President beside Alice Roosevelt Longworth (who talked profusely). Mrs. Longworth began to chatter and flatter the President in her usual charming fashion, but Coolidge simply sat there in silence, seeming to ignore her. Finally, the disgusted Mrs. Longworth turned to the President and said, “Mr. President, you go to a great many dinners and parties. They must bore you a great deal.” To which Coolidge replied, “Well, a man has to eat somewhere!”
Coolidge’s response to flattery was indeed commendable. Several thousand years before, the writer of Proverbs wisely wrote, “A person with hate in his heart may sound pleasant enough, but don’t believe him; for he is cursing you in his heart. Though he pretends to be so kind, his hatred will finally come to light for all to see. The person who sets a trap for others will get caught in it himself. Roll a boulder down on someone, and it will roll back and crush you. Flattery is a form of hatred and wounds cruelly” (Proverbs 26:24-26/ Living Bible).
Flattery is the false, insincere or excessive praise given to vainly gratify another person, or to “puff up” the one who is giving it. It’s the type of thing where you’ll say to your pastor after the Sunday morning service, “Oh pastor, that was an excellent message. You certainly know how to preach the Word. I was so blessed by being here!” – when in reality you may have dozed through most of the service, or have been thinking about a host of other things.
Flattery is the type of thing where you rave over a person’s outward appearance when actually you think that person has horrible taste. Flattery is doting over the neighbor’s new car, when really your heart is filled with envy and covetousness, and you don’t mean a word you say. A sage once quipped that flattery is like soap about 90% lye! “In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery! ” (Proverbs 28:23/ Living Bible).
September/October 1983
